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Say Anything January 22, 2011

Posted by indigobunting in Uncategorized.

January threw me right back into the thick of deadlines, the first week pushing to get the textbook on kidney disease at last off my desk, the following weeks catching up on all the journal articles I’d fallen behind on (as a result of meeting the kidney disease textbook deadline) and trying to get everything to and through the art director before her 3-week disappearance to Hawaii. I’ve done little each day but work, work out, and collapse in a heap in front of the TV, wallowing in rewatching all of Firefly with Tim, for instance, then to bed to read a bit of Patti Smith or Carl Hiaasen before losing consciousness and starting all over again the next day. As this has seemed all too dull to report, I have not been reporting it.

There has been lots of snow, which means lots of shoveling (despite having someone plow my driveway). But it has also meant some good x-country skiing, one of the activities on my checklist. Getting outside does keep me from losing my mind in these winter months. Lately I’ve felt a bit on the edge of that—I have to stay on top of the fight against seasonal depression, against cabin fever.

Monday, for instance, was the worst, and when several days later I mentioned this to a friend, he helpfully reminded me that January 17 was this year’s Blue Monday, allegedly the most depressing day of the year. (Of course, looking at the Wikipedia entry for this, there is good argument for January 24 being 2011’s true Blue Monday. If I live through January 24, perhaps I’ll report back.) In reviewing factors taken into consideration to determine this theoretical date (weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, failing new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels, and the feeling of a need to take action), I can say that although I am experiencing low motivational levels, I think that the depression’s just a winter thing. For me it’s not debt, Christmas, or resolutions. I just need more hours of daylight, more warmth, even in this cooperative, snowy play-outside winter.

Yesterday I was having fantasies of mud, peepers, woodcock, and snipe. Red-winged blackbirds. Air warm enough to smell things (besides wood smoke and snowmobile exhaust). I’m not truly ready—I need some more winter sport—but what is life, anyway, without a little yearning for the next thing?



1. Susan - January 23, 2011

Last year I noticed something most unusual: For once in my life (literally) I was in no hurry for spring. I’m experiencing the same thing this year. Although I love spring and summer, love to garden, and had loads of fun with my big bean project last year, I’m happy to know the grass isn’t growing and I don’t have a single weed to pull. I don’t want my rug hooking and nice woodstove fires to be interrupted. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way about winter if I had editing deadlines, though.

2. Lali - January 23, 2011

Susan is right. To truly appreciate winter, you have to be a gardener rejoicing in NOT needing to plant, weed, harvest, prune, mow, trim or otherwise interact with the plant world.

I know what you mean, though, Indigo. I alternate between loving the silence and the cloisteredness, and going almost mad with cabin fever. But have you noticed how different the light is around 4 p.m. these days?

3. Mali - January 23, 2011

“What is life, anyway, without a little yearning for the next thing?” So true.

You’ve been missed, though, and I’d been hoping you were out cross-country skiing. It sounds so exotic, so romantic. On the bright side, at least you’ve had work?

4. helen - January 24, 2011

I’m glad you found time to say something. Please do report back after Jan. 24 so we know you’re OK. And remember, the longer days returneth…

5. LisaS - January 27, 2011

wish i was there to cross-country ski with you–i’m pathetic, only done it once, but it’s a lovely exercise in rhythm & glide …

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