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Fish or Not? Part 2: Under the Wire August 31, 2015

Posted by indigobunting in Uncategorized.
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It’s August 31, and I made it. Yesterday was the tenth day of the month that I did not drink.

It was (mostly, but not always) hard.

I was going to mention that when there were two consecutive nondrinking days, the second one was easier. Except the last time, it wasn’t. The last time, I really really wanted to chill out at happy hour on day 2. But I was sure if I gave in that day—the potential ninth day, when I very specifically wanted a hoppy beer and bit o’ bourbon, when there were so few days left in August and an entire weekend ahead of me—that I would fail. So I toughed it out.

If I can get through dinner—past happy hour, past wanting to pair wine or snooty beer with my meal—I can do it.

It’s probably helped (a little) that I’ve been watching Brideshead Revisited and Sebastian’s demise.

It’s possibly helped that I listened to a five-years-sober author interview and heard her list some of her reasons for falling in love with alcohol in the first place. Social lubrication? Check. Being able to move past extreme self-consciousness? Check. As an introvert, I’ve often thought, “What if I’d truly discovered alcohol in high school? I would have been able to talk to people! I would have had more friends! I wouldn’t have felt like such an outsider!” I quickly follow that up with, “Thank god I didn’t truly discover alcohol in high school. I’m here.”

Some friends found this experiment of mine somewhat arbitrary, especially as they don’t perceive me as drinking a lot, and because many of them believe a drink or two a day is fine, possibly even healthy. It is an arbitrary experiment, of course. I can pick any ten days in the month, and I’m only trying to do this for two months. I don’t drink a lot (compared with people who drink a lot). But I do drink often. So let’s tap the brakes a little and see what happens.

Here’s what I still believe: I have a happy hour addiction.

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