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No Kidding in NZ December 4, 2017

Posted by indigobunting in Uncategorized.

My dear friendI’venevermet Mali agreed to be interviewed on video for this article about women without children. Because I’m childfree by choice (and don’t tend to use the word childless), I used to make the mistake of assuming anyone else without children was like me. It only took a couple of embarrassing mistakes to learn to never assume anything. One thing I love about reading Mali (see No Kidding here) over the years is to learn about the pain that never fully goes away but, for her, has meant all sorts of other fantastic opportunities in her life that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. Mali embraces a life I truly envy, and it’s her [what seems to be natural] ability to joyfully embrace it that I may envy most. I love that I get to watch and hear her here, and I’m proud/in awe of the work she’s done over the years. “The article is about the stigma society still places on women without children, and indicative of this is the fact that I was the only childless woman (rather than an academic or counsellor) who agreed not to be anonymous, and to be photographed for the article,” she blogged. She also noted that “In the interview, I stressed too that the isolation women without children might feel makes us much more aware of the many other people in society who might feel alone at this time of year, but it didn’t make the edit. So I want to mention it here, to remind us all to try and include, and be thoughtful around, those who might be feeling alone or left out or just plain sad this year. Being Merry isn’t compulsory, but being kind definitely should be.” Cheers to that.



1. Mali - December 5, 2017

You lovely, kind dearfriendI’venevermet! What nice words.

I don’t like the word childless, though I have felt that way at times, and like you don’t tend to use it. And I guess I’m happily childfree (as I was in the first 10-15 years of my adult life) again. It’s my only choice now, so why not embrace it?!

2. susan365 - December 7, 2017

No Kidding–what a great title! Before I had children I used to make the same mistake as you, IB, although in my case I assumed they were infertile like me. My first baby, Suzanne, was born the day before my 8th wedding anniversary. It’s interesting how some women crave maternity and some do not. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with nurturing qualities. In my case, I started worrying at age 8 about my fertility, following my mother’s second miscarriage. Gonna go check out your links.

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